i’ve spent a lot of time over the past few years angry. i was angry at you, for the lack of caring for everything. i blamed you for my drug problem, and sometimes i still do. i blamed you for my stupid decisions i made often during those long years. i blamed you when i had troubles dating. i blamed you for my low self esteem. and mostly i blamed you for my complete unhappiness. but things are different now.
The other day your birthday passed. it was just a short three years ago when we first started dating. i was so innocent then, so scared of a relationship. but that nieve way of thinking is what made me fall in love with you. maybe it was all your fault. maybe it was all mine. perhaps we share the blame. but mostly i wonder if maybe things were different we could have worked out.
i know my mistakes. i allowed you to walk all over me, i would never question what you did, i never let the way you talked to other girls get to me. i mean why would you hurt me? who would do that. but now i know not to put such faith in a person. people will constantly make mistakes. Now i can see the big picture, that was hidden from me for so long. i am young and damaged, but i am also so strong now. you made me this strong woman i am. so deep down, below the anger and pain you’ve placed inside me, there you will find how because of the way you changed me, i will always care for you. no one may ever understand. but as my first love there is always a place in my heart. this is my final goodbye. i love you.
thank you, and best wishes,