I don’t know whether to laugh or run. He is an old man (60s). Two large vampire like teeth the size of my index fingers protrude from his mouth, and three missing teeth in the front. He is a scientist and socially inept. I cut a cake yesterday for some church members and swung around to see him standing behind me looking at my backside with longing in his eyes. He let out a big sigh that escaped his lips. I felt like running… at the same time it was rather comical.
My mother and I first met him at the church a few months ago. He came right up and proclaimed that I was the cutest thing he ever saw. I just about died right there. Mom said it was alright, “Just stick close to me,” she whispered to me. I didn’t need encouraging. Rebellion was not in my dictionary at that moment.
Yesterday evening in a crowd full of church members a bug appeared. A few girls quickly walked away. I took a napkin and captured the little bug and proceeded to squish it between my fingers. Suddenly, the old man himself put his hand on mine (ewe), “Let me see it,” he said. He stared at it for a moment then quickly smashed it in his hand… all the while saying, “Die! Die! …There!”
After that I nervously laughed and he leaned over and began to rub my shoulder as if to say it’s okay my darling. The girls across the room squealed and I backed away. The old man said he loved bugs. His favorite bug was a vampire bug that sucked blood. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I felt like I had just stepped into the twilight zone, but it was in church. Lol!
Did I mention he wears sparkling nail polish (it’s multicolored on his nails)? Do I laugh or do I run? I haven’t decided….