I have these coupons you made me from when you asked me to be your girlfriend.
Before I left your house, you kissed me so sweetly while you held me in your arms. You slipped them into my pocket and told me not to look at them until I got home.
One free adventure. Any time, anywhere.
One free night of angry, dirty, possibly painful fuckfest.
One free full body massage and kisses over 100% of my body.
One free night of lust-filled passion and romance.
One free night of friendship and laughter.
One free relationship. Voided of doubt, lies, or infidelity.
There’s no expiration date on these…
So it should be too late to ask to redeem them now, right?