• Roller Coaster

    by  • November 4, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    I’m waiting for this roller coaster to stop. Waiting for all the ups and downs… the twists and turns… the endless madness to finally come to an end so we can be together…really together. I think about you constantly and wish more than anything that I could be in your arms…always. Right now it’s in fleeting moments. Only when the world slows down for a second and nobody is watching. I want to shout out to the world that I am in love with you…only you. It’s not acceptable for me to love you so soon. It’s not okay to want to be with you…especially you. But that’s all I want. I’ve wanted you for so long. You don’t even know. I hung on to the lines of your poem for so many years for a reason. Did you know you had that kind of a hold on me? Neither did I until this unexpected flood of feelings overtook me that day you came to help me. It was the day after my world got turned upside down. I was falling and you came to catch me….I’m still falling only this fall has changed direction. This is not something I had planned or turned my focus on in order to escape the pain. It wasn’t the emotions of my situation that caused me to feel this way for you. That is something I worry about. That you think these feelings will fade as I adjust to my new life. You must understand that it’s you…every part of you. The feelings become stronger each time we talk…each time we are together whether it’s a good day or a bad one for either of us. You’re the one I have waited for…I’m still waiting. Sooner or later the timing will be right for us and when that day comes…..well, I can’t even put into words what I think it will be like. My mom jokingly refers to you as my knight in shining armor. Funny but that makes me smile. Every little girl dreams of their own fairytale. You are more than that to me though. I don’t just want you to save me. I don’t want to be the hapless victim of a screwed up situation…a screwed up life. I want to be your strength as well. I will be your anything and everything you want or need me to be. Three hearts…my code saying I love you…I’m IN love with you. These are the words I so desperately have wanted to say to you for so long but can only hope to show in action. I’ll just continue to hold them back until this ride stops…or at least changes gear. Until then I will just be here…waiting.

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