I read a quote tonight that made me proud of myself. Then I thought about it from a slightly different perspective, and I got a little mad. And “little” might be an understatement.
“Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise that I dance like I’ve got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs?” –Maya Angelou
We do. That’s no simile.
The horrible thing about this is that I think a lot women direct this philosophy towards other women, like life is a competition. I can appreciate a sexy woman. Sure I get insecure sometimes if she’s skinnier than me, or her hair is straight, or she’s wearing a nice outfit. But I cannot compare myself to her because she does her, and I have to do me.
I’m not skinny. At best I’m athletic, at worst I’m thick. I have curly hair that does whatever the hell it pleases. I could dress urban eccentric chic like I want to, but when I really think about it I’d rather be in a hippie shirt, cute jeans and Converse. And what matters is my own damn opinion. I give care to other people where it’s due.
Women, you need to stop being insecure about whatever other women have or don’t have. We need to uplift each other instead of being catty bitches and talking about each other in the cafeterias. I listened to half a dozen different groups of girls talk about other girls like complete dogs this week and it’s only Wednesday. “Does she think she’s showing off?” and “She is a mess!” were essentially what they said.
I didn’t even need to strain to hear them. I was at least fifteen feet away from these people. If you talk about your “friends” like that, why don’t you expect other people to talk the same way about you? I don’t understand how you can even keep friends if you are not loyal to them. If you’ll talk about one friend, you’ll talk about them all.
If your girl is doing well, why can’t you be happy for her? Maybe she deserves to feel like she’s showing off, like she has something to brag about. If she’s not doing well, why can’t you ask her what her problem is like a mature individual, instead of talking about her when she’s not there? Help her to feel good about herself. It doesn’t take away anything from you.
We need to be coming together to figure out how to solve our problems, women’s problems, instead of gossiping about them. We need to recognize that we’re all the same, regardless of any of the divisive nonsense we come into contact with. Fighting over it is senseless, and we do it from the time we start socializing. We do it regardless of age, class, or any other kind of status. That shit is unhealthy.
Be a strong woman. Be a real friend. Be a leader.
What are you so damn afraid of?