• Yes, you are sexy.

    by  • November 2, 2011 • Self-Esteem • 4 Comments

    I read a quote tonight that made me proud of myself. Then I thought about it from a slightly different perspective, and I got a little mad. And “little” might be an understatement.

    “Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise that I dance like I’ve got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs?” –Maya Angelou

    We do. That’s no simile.

    The horrible thing about this is that I think a lot women direct this philosophy towards other women, like life is a competition. I can appreciate a sexy woman. Sure I get insecure sometimes if she’s skinnier than me, or her hair is straight, or she’s wearing a nice outfit. But I cannot compare myself to her because she does her, and I have to do me.

    I’m not skinny. At best I’m athletic, at worst I’m thick. I have curly hair that does whatever the hell it pleases. I could dress urban eccentric chic like I want to, but when I really think about it I’d rather be in a hippie shirt, cute jeans and Converse. And what matters is my own damn opinion. I give care to other people where it’s due.

    Women, you need to stop being insecure about whatever other women have or don’t have. We need to uplift each other instead of being catty bitches and talking about each other in the cafeterias. I listened to half a dozen different groups of girls talk about other girls like complete dogs this week and it’s only Wednesday. “Does she think she’s showing off?” and “She is a mess!” were essentially what they said.

    I didn’t even need to strain to hear them. I was at least fifteen feet away from these people. If you talk about your “friends” like that, why don’t you expect other people to talk the same way about you? I don’t understand how you can even keep friends if you are not loyal to them. If you’ll talk about one friend, you’ll talk about them all.

    If your girl is doing well, why can’t you be happy for her? Maybe she deserves to feel like she’s showing off, like she has something to brag about. If she’s not doing well, why can’t you ask her what her problem is like a mature individual, instead of talking about her when she’s not there? Help her to feel good about herself. It doesn’t take away anything from you.

    We need to be coming together to figure out how to solve our problems, women’s problems, instead of gossiping about them. We need to recognize that we’re all the same, regardless of any of the divisive nonsense we come into contact with. Fighting over it is senseless, and we do it from the time we start socializing. We do it regardless of age, class, or any other kind of status. That shit is unhealthy.

    Be a strong woman. Be a real friend. Be a leader.

    What are you so damn afraid of?

    Related Post

    4 Responses to Yes, you are sexy.

    1. Amen
      November 3, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      Totally agree with you. I had “friends” like that before. The crap they put me through dragged on because I thought they were my friends. I was naive and kept on being honest and open with them. But finally I got to a point where I realized that I didn’t need to take this shit. No friend would treat you like dirt and gossip behind your back. They wouldn’t create false rumors about you if they were your real friends.

      Real women and real friends would support you no matter what. Bitchiness should not be a part of friendship.


    2. Yeah but...
      November 4, 2011 at 12:02 am

      It’s not just about our friends – I hear it about or from strangers, acquaintances, etc. And later I realized I should have made it gender neutral because I know some guys who gossip like little girls.

      My personal mission is to help people develop their characters and become leaders in whatever capacity they need to be.


    3. The author
      November 4, 2011 at 12:32 pm

      An addition I meant to put in the first time:

      YOU ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE. You will always have problems. She will always have problems. So she has on a great outfit and her hair is perfect and she’s got great boobs and her butt looks like you could bite it. She might have a man at home who beats her, or her youngest son might be dealing drugs, or she might have a daddy who loved her a little to much when she was little. Stop worrying about her and concentrate on making yourself into the person YOU want to be. Figuring out who you are is a full time job and it always changes. Work on that instead.


    4. melissa
      November 4, 2011 at 3:42 pm

      a lot of girls need to do this! thanks for bringing this up!



    Leave a Reply