things have gotten so out of hand
my friends dislike me, and i’m not even just saying that. we usually do something fun for someone’s birthday, like hang out or have a sleepover. but…they didn’t do that for me. and i got mad, and i sent an angry text.
“why didn’t you apologize? that was really hurtful”
WHY didn’t you apologize, why didn’t you ask me to do something?
why do i always have to apologize to you? don’t you even know how much that hurt my feelings? it was the cherry on top of this huge shit cake that has become our friendship over the past year
i try to be there for all of you
to be encouraging or whatever you need. but can’t you guys see that i am struggling? or do you even care to ask how i am doing?
because i am SCREAMING with unhappiness on the inside. crying, hating, banging, cutting. myself.
i just wanted you to show me that you cared. because god oh god i care so much.
and then you, you. i still feel like this is middle school and you’re ignoring me. but it’s not, i’m 17, i’m older. and it shouldn’t make me upset. but it does.
and while i was taking some scissors and carefully digging them into my shoulder, were any of you even thinking about me?
why am i even here if so few even care to enjoy my company
talk to me
show me you care