• Does it ever cross your mind?

    by  • November 1, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    I can’t get it out of my head. I know it was 4 months ago but when you grabbed my face and tears were pouring down yours and you said “you know why this hurts so bad? because it’s real, real love” and you kissed my forehead and just turned away in tears, you walked out of our room as I whispered I love you still. You didnt know I was awake those times after you said it was over and you came into my room thinking I was asleep and kissed me, not for me but for you. Not to mention all the letters from you and lyrics you wrote.. “I know our paths will cross again cause somethings can never be lost” “please do not push me out of your life” “I think of you as my wife, we’re not divorced just seperated”. I kept them all, what happened? Now there isnt even a word from you for over a month and you are clearly happy with her. I just can’t understand how someone could feel so deeply for over 2 years for me, say all those things after we broke up and then can forget me so quickly like I never mattered. Everyone keeps telling me actions speak louder than words but I was there when you looked me deep into my eyes and said all these things, I saw the tears and fears in you. I felt it down into my core. Now I just feel so crazy. “Let it go” they all say, if its ment to be it will be I keep hearing. But why say those things to me, after we were over knowning what they would do to me. your not dumb by any means and I know you ment what you said. I just don’t understand how you could be so cold to me, don’t you remember I was the one who picked you up when everyone else didnt care? I was the one who supported you when you had no job because you stood up for yourself, I even loaned you money to pay your mom but I guess that is just my lesson learned. I know I am a great person and I know you know that. So why treat me like I’m not?

    you say you’re young and you need time to just be.

    then why are you just being with her?
    If I remember correctly you refered to her as a slut and annoying. guess that is what lights you up now.

    If you wanted out so bad why did you drag me on for so long after you already ended it..

    I’m just left with your words of one day and I sit so lost.

    Do I believe the words you said to me while looking me in my eyes and sobbing or your cold actions now.

    I have made it seem like I am good and happy without you, reality I’m just waiting for the day to come when what you said to me over and over comes true, yet I feel so stupid for feeling this way.

    I wish I was strong enough to say goodbye and move on like you.

    I hope she at least makes you happy, since that was something I just could not master with you.

    B

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