• Always hoping.

    by  • November 1, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    You know that saying that talks about first love? and how you’ll never love someone that intensly again because part of your heart isn’t there anymore…100% believe in that. So, Matt i’m back with one more letter out to you.

    Well Matt, I’m here again, writing you a letter that you’ll never see.
    I miss you, I miss us, and I miss the me with you.
    I can’t help but want to talk to you, but then I remember that you’ve moved on with your life and i’m just dust in the wind.
    When you went to college is when we just fell apart, we were apart for the first time and it was hard for your little freshman who loved you with every single bone in her body to handle.
    Well, i’m in Junior year now, and you’re a Sophomore in college now. Two completely different worlds. It’s been quite some time that I left you, best friend, and I regret it.
    You never understood that all I needed was some reassurance that you wanted me to stay, I wouldn’t have left if you simply just said “I need you, stay.” I’ve grown a lot since then and I see that I was immature to think that life is a movie. But it’s not, and you’re not going to come running back telling me that you can’t live without me and that you’re in love with me.
    No. It was never like that either, it was miserable, with you always threatening to kill yourself if I ever left you. I was terrified and mentally abused by you, I still cry every night over you and the things you said.
    Look, you’re still alive and you have another girlfriend. You’ve achieved happiness without me; happiness you said could never be achieved. All WITHOUT me. So tell me Matt, why am I still not over you? You hurt me, in more ways than one, and you made me believe that you stopped loving me. You ruined everything I was, so tell me, why? Why do I still love you? Why do I still long for you? Why do I still cry for you?
    I’m sure you think of me and perhaps miss me from time to time but I know for a fact that you dont want me back in your life and that you dont want to even know that i’m feeling these things.
    You’re better off without me anyways, I was just a lesson learned and you deserved better anyways.

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