• Inside My Head

    by  • October 20, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 0 Comments

    For my best friend:

    I don’t know why you befriended me, but I’m glad you did. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I honestly don’t know how I would be living and okay without you. Actually, I probably wouldn’t be okay without you. You don’t know it, but you’ve done so much for me.

    You pulled me out of my depression.
    You stopped the blades from scraping across my ankles.
    You lessened my symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
    And OCD, even though you have worse OCD than me.
    Heck, you even boost my low self-esteem every time you call me beautiful, cute, or adorable.

    I know these make me seem pathetic and needy, but I’m really not. Besides, you’ve helped me in other ways, too.

    You caused me to be a better person.
    You caused me to work harder.
    You allowed me to smile more.
    And just be happier in general.
    To learn what unconditional love is.

    Because before you came along, I had never loved someone the way I love you. I love you as the best friend in the world, who I can rely on no matter what happens and who will never judge me. But there’s something I haven’t told you. I also love you in a way that is hard to describe. When we’re hugging, I get butterflies in my stomach and wish I could be in your arms forever. When we’re texting, I’m happy regardless of what else is happening. When we sit on that park bench in the middle of our night-time walks, and we’re sitting there talking, and we hit a break in our conversation, and I’m staring into your eyes, I have to fight every urge to kiss you. But you’re my best friend, and I fear that if we turn to romance it will go wrong and I will lose you.

    You’re absolutely amazing, and I can’t risk that right now. But I love you. And if you’re reading this silly little letter in some bizarre coincidence, I hope you know who wrote it.

    -Your best friend forever

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