I feel like I am, losing you. I feel like our loving is fading and there isn’t a thing I can do about it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I don’t think it’s even anything I can fix. But I can tell things aren’t the same. We’re fighting for our relationship more than just enjoying being together. And I know a lot of that is caused by me being sad, scared and worried. It’s hard not to be all of those things.
You are so far away, and having you gone really puts a strain on our relationship. There isn’t anything we can do, but try and hold on. But I don’t feel like you are anymore. I feel like what we have, is more so now what we had. I do still love you. But is me loving you enough? No.
I know we talked about forever and the future together. But I’m not so sure it’s going to happen anymore. I wanted to be with you. I still do want to. But I think seeing all this fade away like I feared it would, is kind of pushing me away from you. I’m not even sure you realize it.
I didn’t want to believe it, I still don’t. Because losing you is really going to break me. I know what it’s like now to need someone, because you aren’t yourself without them. I don’t love you because I fear losing you or being alone. I love you because you are my other half.
If I had the chance to choose someone else, I’d still choose you; every time. I know what we have isn’t perfect, but I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Even if it means crying everyday because I don’t get to see you. I’ll take those tears, because I know that’ll all be in the past in two years. And then we could finally be together. And if I give up on you, I’ll regret it forever.
I meant it when I said forever. And I believed you did too. I believe you meant it. And believe you love me. But I’m not so sure, you are in love with me. I’m not sure you need me. I’m not sure you even want me.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is. Even if this is goodbye, or it will be soon. I love you, and I always will. Even if you break your promise of forever to me. I’ll hate that you broke it, but i’ll never hate you. I’ll never let go, even if you do. You are my one and only true love. You are irreplaceable.