The day you raped me I thought my life was over. It was like the organic parts that made me myself had just shut off. I was lost for over a year. Do you have any idea what it’s like to hide from your own mind? For your house to betray you as the scene of the crime? I was stuck in a place between wishing i was dead and wishing I could come back to life.
One day, long after you’d left, I drank too much and almost died at a stranger’s house. Hitting the ground was the beginning of my life.
After that I got my shit together. I got sober, I got a job, I got my own tiny little version of a life; but that wasn’t enough. My house and my town and my friends and my everything had you stained all over it.
So then I got gone.
I moved as far as I could. I ended up in a village with no running water, no electricity and no semblence of the person your rape turned me into.
After a year here I have a job and a family and a life I love. I got connected to God, started working with kids, and live a life that means something.
Running away from you I found myself. I found the person I always wanted to be, I am brave and strong and able. I am beautiful, I am a survivor, I am beyond you.
So you may have raped me but I am not a victim. Thanks to your failed attempt I am living a profound life.
So go fuck yourself.