If I’m free, it’s because I’m always running. That’s what I do, run away from it all. As soon as the going gets tough, I get a fucking move on and sprint my ass out of there. I don’t think I know how to deal with things, because everything I try to deal with goes from bad, to worse, to up in flames.
Skeptical? Here’s some reassurance. Once I felt fat, so I stopped eating with the intention it would be for a few days. Well two years later I’m still here counting the amount of cheerios I can eat per day, punching my legs when I start to feel hungry, and still feeling too fat.
But we are all fucked up, so who cares. Actually, that is an amazing question, who cares? Nobody. Not a single person gives a damn, except for maybe about themselves. I’m convinced that’s why I don’t seem to fit in anywhere, because I care for so many people, people I’ve know forever, people I just met, people I don’t even know. I feel with my whole body, I feel every fucking thing, even if it’s not directly impacting me.
I’m like the breath of hot summer air in bitter cold
I’m like a mermaid living among fishes
I’m like an actual human surrounded by empty, desolate statues
Truth is, I have no idea who this letter is intended for, my parents, my friends, my enemies, or maybe to anyone who will shut the fuck up for once, and just listen. So, for all of you who are willing to feel something, this is for you. I might not be to strong enough to take my own advice but here it goes. Stop running, stop hiding, stop looking back, find out what it is you truly desire, no matter how big that is, and go for it. Because if you’re running towards something, you’re not running away from everything else anymore.