i like how we were a secret kinda. but when we were together, it was the farthest thing from that. sitting on your lap. letting me always be right, when sometimes we both knew i was wrong, holding your hand. sitting on your lap. not wanting to, but eventually kissing you for the camera. then not kissing you for anything. hugging you. looking right into your eyes. crying for you when i’ve had too much to drink. fighting over who loves who the most. showing off your clothes when i wore them. telling secrets and keeping secrets. laughing at all the stupid things you do. then maybe, laughing at all the stupid things i do. texting you when i’m right next to you, because i would have died if anyone heard what i had to tell you. talking about you to my friends like your the best thing since sliced bread. and, unfortunately, crying over you to the few friends who actually cared. smiling at your cute texts. forgiving me for ending those 8 hours. making pointless bets. being there for me whenever i needed you. getting excited to see you those rare times that we would get to hang out. getting “good morning beautiful” texts. and getting goodnight texts. the “i miss you”s, the “i love you”s, the “i wish i was with you”s, the “i can’t wait to see you”s, and the “forever”s..ever single one of them: best friends forever, i’ll love you forever, i wish i could stay with you forever, forever this..forever that. only to find out that “forever” only lasted for about a year and a half. i mean, it sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? until i think about all the bad things. The lying, the smoking, the clinginess, the jealousy, the fights, and everything underneath that. It was great while it lasted, it really was. i thought i was “in love”, which is a joke, because clearly i’m not..atleast id like to think I’m not. its ridiculous how attached to you i really let myself get. i mean think about it..we would have been the most dysfunctional couple to ever walk the face of the planet.