• We make fire

    by  • July 30, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 2 Comments

    We’re dreamers. You and I. I spark an idea and you run with it, and then you take me along with you. I was so infatuated with our ideas, our world that we created that I became infatuated with you. I wanted to stay in that world as long as I could and I wanted to stay with you. Talking. Connecting. Sharing. But it wasn’t the real world. I had to grow up and I had to shut the door on our world. I didn’t want to. I didn’t have a choice. You knew that it couldn’t work out. I knew that it couldn’t work out.

    But what I didn’t know was that I was your only spark. That when I shut the door, you were drained of light and ideas. You were frustrated. Grabbing any light you could find. Even trying to grab for me again.

    I hated shutting you out of my life. I hated hurting you. On certain nights I would think how you were holding up but I couldn’t comfort you. That killed me inside.

    On top of that I had ideas but I was to afraid to run with them. I needed you. I was lost. Frustrated.

    But naturally we always come back to one another. That’s how we were made. I’m the spark and you’re the match. I’ve come to terms with this fact.

    You have to know that you will always be in my life but you can never be my life. All matches fizzle out. We are no different.

    Thank you for loving me and continuing to love me.

    -Your Spark

    2 Responses to We make fire

    1. Angel
      July 31, 2011 at 12:50 am

      Hmmm.. I can relate to this very well. The question I will always have is “why?” Why do we feel this way about each other when we both know we can’t be together? Why can’t I accept it for what it is? I tell myself I will be okay with the way things are but the guilt about the way I feel just makes be want to turn and walk away from it all. Because I want to be his life, not just in it, because of what we feel between us… something I am scared I’ll never see or feel with another. When I try to think about it rationally, I blame it on my memory, I wonder sometimes if that was what caused me to feel this way. Because I had to relive the memories over and over in my head until I remembered it all. And I guess it gave me the “idea” that we are soulmates. I can’t seem to let go of that “idea” because I did feel things with him when I wasn’t even trying… feelings that took me by surprise because I wasn’t trying to get my mind to tell my heart feel it because of the “idea” that I put in my own head about him being my soulmate. I do believe he is, but it is what it is and I will just have to learn to adjust accordingly but I don’t think I will ever not feel like the match to his spark or visa-versa. It is something we will share, in secret, as long as we are in each others life. It is something I feel guilty about, but I can’t seem to walk away… because it is a good feeling.

    2. Matches
      July 31, 2011 at 8:36 am

      Don’t play with fire or you may get burned. The spark ignites and lights the match but unless it is used to light the forever burning candle, it will burn out and fall to ashes.
      Then again, maybe that was the point of you lines..no regrets ever and may you turn from spark to light someday!

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