• Thoughts from the Teenage Mind

    by  • July 30, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 4 Comments

    I’m sitting here looking at the computer screen. Trying to figure out what to say next.
    Trying to figure out if I’m writing this for myself, to get things off of my chest or am I just going to type this all out, then not publish it.

    Well, for starters, I’m a teenager.
    16 1/2 years old.
    I’m very active in theatre.
    I’m a singer & an actress. Dancing isn’t my favorite.
    I’m pretty, but not gorgous.
    I’m outgoing & loud, but I have a very laid back & easy-going side.
    I have been played by boys.
    I thought I found love, all I did was find out what lust was.
    I have been pressured for sex, drugs, and drinking, & proudly to say that I have turned them all down.
    I’m very smart, I have A’s & a few B’s.
    I’m scared about my entire life.

    You may just think that I’m a normal girl, living a normal life.

    It’s far from that.

    I have a brother going to the Marines, I’m scared to death that he may not come back.
    I have been in a controling relationship with a guy.
    I’m scared about what’s going to happen next in my life.
    I’ve been abused.
    I’ve been hurt.
    I’ve hurt others.
    I’m to the point where I don’t think I’m all that amazing, that I will never be good enough for anyone.
    Everyday I see people throw words around like; whore, slut, bitch, dike, gay, faggot, and many more.
    I want to be the change in the world, I just don’t know where to start.
    I love my family & my friends more than anything in this world.
    I’m scared that I will just give up everything because I can’t handle it.

    I’m wishing that the next 16 years of my life will be amazing. That everything will turn out like a fairy tale.
    But I know that won’t happen, so I’ll make the best out of it.


    4 Responses to Thoughts from the Teenage Mind

    1. Uncool
      July 31, 2011 at 4:23 am

      Thing is it does get better overtime but you have to keep at it, no matter the obstacles that are on your path. The fear of failure is a common thing for everyone, heck its a right of passage in some respects, it not something to be afraid of but more of a challenge. There are some false starts and some disappoints in a person’s life but to comeback at it with strong resolve and to defeat that fear with courage shows character.

      You obviously sound like you have strong values and know that you want to accomplish something in the world (I feel the same way). Confidence was never my strong suit until I learned to accept my shortcomings and embrace the uniqueness and compassion I have for my profession as well as the people that effect my life.

      Don’t wish for things to get better, making it happen. Someone with passion and confidence is something to be feared in itself, there is nothing you cannot accomplish with both at hand. šŸ™‚

    2. Batya
      July 31, 2011 at 4:55 pm

      We’re in the same boat. Except I’m your age and soon I’ll be in the army. Anyhoo, you’re not alone. You’ll make it through.

    3. E
      July 31, 2011 at 6:00 pm

      I want you to know that everything seems better on the other side. I remember when I was a teenager and I was consumed by everything surrounding me also. Everything will not turn out like a fairy tale, but I hope for you that you will get to the point in your life where you are happy about that. You don’t want a fairy tale, you want the happiness that comes with reality and real emotions. All the hard times in your life just make the good ones seem amazing by comparison. Hold on, in 10 years you’ll look back on this moment and be in a better place. Keep that optimism and drive to change the world, and move towards doing that. You can even start now.

    4. M
      July 31, 2011 at 9:13 pm

      Don’t sell yourself short – you are amazing and you are absolutely going to be “good enough” for somebody someday. Someone who will think the same thing about you because they love you so much; they will worry about being “good enough” not to lose you. Don’t waste your youth “making the best” out of something. This life is precious and just so short – the older you get, the faster time passes. Make the most out of every minute. By doing that, you WILL find your niche in making a difference in the world, regardless of how small that change may be. And never, ever give up. You can and will handle more than you’ve ever imagined yourself to be able to. It may not be a fairytale with a glass slipper presented by Prince Charming, but it will be your own happy ending.

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