On that night in July when I found those love letters to her, my heart experienced a pain I never thought possible.
Kissing your best friend was the most passionate and intimate touch I had in the next year but yet I still just felt the black numbness.
I did it because I wanted to wake up out of my trance and because I wanted to feel something. I wanted to make you feel a bit of the pain and hurt I had been carrying around with me for the past year. But most of all I wanted closure.
I knew you would deal with losing me but I couldn’t make you lose the one guy who meant more to you that anyone.
Sam and I didn’t talk much after that.
The guilt at the back of my mind never stopped.
You and I became better than we ever were, even better than the start. We have intimacy and passion in our relationship and we don’t try to change each other anymore.
I hope you can find it in your heart to one day forgive me.