Two years of friendship but somewhere along the line something became apparent and that was our obvious attraction towards each other. You had a girlfriend, i had a boyfriend blah blah blah same old story everyone has heard it. But this is mine. Two years… The build up was slow but the tension was there, it’s still there. Over the holidays we admitted the feeling was mutual, we were both single but a new girl was in your life. Now, this is not some soppy arse letter saying you should be with me instead of her, cos it’s not. I stayed away, stayed your friend, did my best to befriend her… I did. Kinda. Just as i was getting over this icky feeling in the pit of my stomach i can only describe as lust you just happen to ‘pop’ back into my life.
So you came, we caught up, we laughed, we spooned… Why was my heart racing? Excitement probably. What i don’t seem to understand are the passes you make, how you make it obvious you want me but take it all back when you think of her.. I don’t mind. I understand. Loyalty is noble and i love that about you… But when i try to stay away, why do you pursue me? You are making it more of a headfuck than i can handle.
Not long ago our banter went a step too far and we admitted once again our feelings without making any advances… But you opened up to me, that’s different. If you can’t ignore the feeling then go with it. Stop fighting it. Just fuck me.
I don’t want to be your side platter, i don’t want to be your third wheel.
But i am.