I know you are afraid of not finding the one, I know you are afraid of being alone for the rest of your life. But keep reminding yourself of the reasons you tried leaving him time and time again before you let him pull you back in. He finally decided to let you go and to just be friends… it was his decision this time and you need to let him stick to this decision.
And if he tries to pull you back in again:
Remind yourself that he doesn’t approve of your friends or family.
Remind yourself that he has betrayed your trust in the past and will do so again and again.
Remind yourself that you will never understand or accept his lifestyle.
Remind yourself that although the sex got better, he didn’t really turn you on the way a lover should. You wanted it to be that way, you wanted passion but something seemed to be missing… remind yourself of that.
Remind yourself that unless he makes a complete turnaround which includes no more drugs, getting a job, and is able to quit sucking his sister’s (a.k.a surrogate mother)titty that you two will never work out.
Remind yourself on how much misery he has caused you during the 9 months you were together.
Remind yourself that this is for the best and let him be your best friend.