Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
Am I insane?
I may be when it comes to you. Every time I think, this time — THIS time it’ll be different.
But maybe it will? What if it will? I have to believe in the possibility that it will. Because it’s been 2 years and we keep weaving back into each other’s lives. That is not nothing, that is something, I know it is. I know you love me even if you haven’t been able to face that yet (except when you’re drunk). I know your fears but I hope you are on your way to overcoming them. It’s time. You’re turning 30. It’s time.
And even if you never do — even if you are never able to face up to it, to face me, really face me like a man, even if you remain the eternal scared child, I will think well of you. I will fall in love, get married, have babies. I will be ok, I know that. It’s you I worry about.
I believe in the possibility. I believe in epiphanies. I believe in connections. I believe in love. I pray for you. I pray for me. I trust the Universe to take care of this. One way or another, I will be ok. “Insanity now, serenity later.” (Seinfeld always applies 😉