maybe i deserved this.
maybe this is my karma for going out with you when my best friend liked you. but i couldn’t help myself. you were, and still are, the most perfect guy i’ve ever met.
maybe it was all the weekends you drove 2 hours a day just to come spend time with.
maybe it was how you always worried about what my mom thought about you.
maybe it was driving in your old van.
maybe it was holding hands and kissing at stoplights.
maybe it was losing my virginity in the back of that van.
maybe it was the way you wiped away my tears when i told you i had an eating disorder and you were the first person who ever told me i was beautiful.
maybe it was how i trusted you, physically and emotionally.
maybe it was how much i liked wearing your big striped shirt.
maybe it was how you made me happier than i’ve ever been.
maybe it’s how because of you, i now suffer from depression, a major eating disorder, and i’ve forgotten who i really am.
but maybe i still miss you, even though you’ve hated me for 5 months.