Buddy. My goddamn BUDDY.
I only found out you passed away today. I want to talk to someone, tell someone how I feel, but really… I have to stay quiet, because no one else knew about us. There, I finally said it for you – US.
Sometimes, you were the only one I could count on. It didn’t matter how bad things got, you were always there with a smile, a cold beer, and your amazing smile. Thinking back on it, I may have fallen in love with you just a little bit. I’ll always say that you were the most gorgeous person I’d ever laid eyes on… inside and out. What we had wasn’t right, not in any way. Knowing how it all ended, I wish I’d just gone with it. I wish I’d just gone to see you all those nights I fought it and said no.
So here’s to Garth Brooks, spilled bloody Marys, and muddy back roads on cold days. To random texts, to Jager bombs, and to Motley Crue. Messed up jeans, empty Coors light cans, and incredibly naughty things done on the side of the road. Singing at the top of our lungs as off key as possible, and you pretending not to be jealous as I told you about my adventures in online dating.
I’d give anything just to get that familiar text from you – one word… Buddy! I miss you. I don’t know if I can even go to your funeral… I want so much to say goodbye, but Dirty Mistresses probably aren’t welcome. You were beautiful both inside and out, and one of the few true friends I’ve ever had. I was so happy to discover that I still had the pictures from that day, only to be shattered when I realized that you were in the driver’s seat of the car that killed you.
Buddy… my heart is broken. My heart is broken and you were always the one to make me feel better. Where do I go from here? I’m lost.