I can’t believe you led me on all summer and I can’t believe I was dumb enough to listen to my friends who made me believe that I mattered to you. Why did you lead me on? Am I that pathetic and sad that you felt you had to humor me? Do you pity me?
I told you I hate pity. I don’t want it.
I know I am not the prettiest girl in the world, I know I don’t look like those famous celebrities who wear fitted gowns that are classy and beautiful, that I wear the same 3 pairs of jeans because I am too poor to purchase new clothes, but, shockingly enough, I do have feelings, like any other human being.
I know you suffered in past relationships, I know that one ex hurt and damaged and manipulated you to the point of constant breakdowns but the world doesn’t revolve around you. I have my problems too and while you were feeling sorry for yourself, and in the state of always claiming “I can’t believe I had sex with her, I can’t believe I lost sleep over her” you neglected to realize that at one point in your life she mattered to you and you shouldn’t regret something that meant so much to you and made you feel good despite the repercussions. I try to not regret the things I did, and because I have the motto of things get better, that I choose my path and if I have the right mindset, my aspirations will come true, my life has been pretty great. Yeah, everyday I get bad news about my family’s income, yes my college money is sketchy, and yes I am terrified everyday I am going to get into drugs again but you know what? I look for positives and ever since I met you I let the bad things get to me.
I’m done with this sick game of your self centered life, of you never really giving a damn about me because I am so much more than that.
I hope you have fun next year and have a good life. Maybe you’ll find someone that finally hits a nerve with you and your sunken head in the sand will finally emerge.