I’ve been thinking about you the last few days. I was wishing we were still together. Wishing I was in your arms and time was still and I wanted to feel I did when we started going out. I’ve been imagining all these romantic scenarios about how we could have been but that wasn’t us. I wish you knew how much I loved you but you’re just too in love with yourself. I really thought I loved you. I gave up my time and energy because I believed that we were strong. On our first date I told you the truth and I said if it’s too much I understand. You decided to stay…Why I don’t really know. You couldn’t deal with my problems and that’s OK. You tried to spare my feelings on various occasions but you just told me lies. Now I realize that most of our relationships was based on lies from you. All I did was love you and support you and try and protect you and all you did in return was tell me lies. When I found those messages from those girls I knew that it was over. I knew that I deserved better but I was trying to hang on to a person that I don’t even know exists. All I did was wait for you. it feels like I spent a lifetime waiting but you never made time for me. Other things in your life were more important..your job, the gym, sports, your friends, other girls and even food. You never said it but I was always going to be second in every situation. It’s annoying but it feels like you’ll always be my number one. I love you and hate you.