Stop it. Stop all the misery right now and be happy. You’re too young and you have too much going for you to be this scared for the future. How can you even possibly be this scared when you don’t know what good things are in store for you? College is inevitable and you need to accept this. And you need to be excited! It’s going to be the best four years of your life, and it should have started that day you chose your school. Love is not the reason you should remain miserable and terrified. Telling yourself that leaving “home” is the cause of your sadness is just a lie and you know this. You’re scared of leaving him, because you’re so afraid you won’t mean anything to him as soon as you do. He says “I love you” know, but will he feel that way when we reunite? Will he have forgotten my face and his feelings every time he sees a new blonde girl pass him on campus? You can only hope that if he does decide to move on, he will still always remember the love you had, and will still probably have, for him. All the care in the world that you showed him; that you would do anything to make him happy. Be happy for his life, and be happy in your own. You can do this, don’t convince yourself you can’t. Please.
Wishing you the best,