To: The girl two seats to the left, and three seats forward in my english class.
I realize I can a pretentious, arrogant dick at times. Really, I do. It’s something I try to keep in check, it is one of my flaws and I will readily admit that.
You know this, because we used to be friends.
Perhaps you’re right, I am a little bitter. But it’s not because of the reasons you think. I’m not interested in dating, we’re too young. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me before I have to commit to that /one/ person who suddenly changes your worldview, that one person who suddenly makes you understand all those sappy, vomit inducing love songs.
I’m worried about you. It’s not that he’s a bad guy, far from. But I question that you’re talking marriage so quickly, a high school crush. I can understand that you really, REALLY like him, and to this I don’t object. Relationships are normal, they’re healthy and what allow us to grow and live and change in this world.
But I really don’t like the fact that you say you ‘love’ him. Again, you know me. I don’t say things unless I truly, honestly mean something.
And like I said, I’m worried about you.
Love is something that I believe takes years to develop, and yes I’m going to sound like a cynical dick…I believe that you ‘think’ you love him. Perhaps we simply have different definitions, but I believe love is something that you feel down in the deepest pit in your soul, it’s something that’s only found after years worth of blood, sweat, happiness, and tears.
Hollywood entertainment is fantastic, but you’ve fallen into that trap of forgetting the ‘entertainment’ part of that.
I don’t know, I guess I’m rambling like a crack-addled chimp. Again.
It’s why I don’t believe you honestly ‘hate’ me either. Hate is a strong word. Or it should be at least. Hatred is the sort of thing that BURNS in your soul, it’s cancerous, vile, and ultimately self-destructive. I honestly pray that you never have to experience what I truly think hatred feels like. It scars people in ways that physical wounds never can, or will.
I know you won’t talk to me, our friendship is over. I get that.
But in the sake of all the happy times that we have shared in the past, I implore you.
Think long and hard, before you say the words ‘I do.’