You need to accept the fact that you do have an anxiety problem. You do need medication in order to function normally…and that’s okay. You’ve always been anxious and it was fine for so long because you are strong. You are a strong woman and you’ve been strong for a long time, but now it is time to admit that you need help occasionally. I know you don’t want help, but you need it. Everything happened at once. Schoolwork, moving from college to home with an abusive sister, your brother trying to kill himself, one of your best friends trying to kill herself, internship applications, wondering if you even want to do this for the rest of your life. That is heavy stuff and it was bound to catch up with you eventually. The good news is that you are still strong. You have medication now to help you cope and you’re going to see a doctor to talk it all through. It will get better. I believe in your strength to handle this. You will get through it and become revolutionary.