i havent felt this sad in along time..i can just feel the tears creeping to the edge of my waterline.. i can feel the choking pain as try to swallow them whole.. i’m trying to keep my mood steady and up beat, because i have nothing to be sad about well at least i shouldn’t, i don’t know why i do this to myself i don’t no why these tears always find their way out, crying is a weakness and im sick of showing people im weak..
i guess my anxiety is spiraling and it’s making me think of everything, where i’m gonna be in 5 years, what am i going to make of myself, will i lose people will i gain new friends, i know for one that i won’t stop traveling i don’t want to stay in the same box forever i don’t want to walk the same streets everyday, i know my life is full of opportunities, i could go to college but do i really want to anymore, i could try get a job but do i wanna work my whole life..
i dont know where the fuck im going and honestly i may seem like i dont care and ill get there when i get there, but i have these days like this one right now and all i can do is stare into and open space and think fuck this is real life …
today i don’t feel like smiling but i’m going to anyway
today i don’t feel like talking but i know words will slip away
i could spend my day being silent and i could sit there with no smile..
but is it really worth it when we all know life is too short.. ?