Why do you throw yourself into your worst thoughts? Why do you think such harsh thoughts about your appearance and personality? Your friends have told you that you’re beautiful and a wonderful person and yet, you continue to put yourself down.
So you fell in love with your best friend, so what? It happens all the time and each day your feelings for him lessen. Why are you worrying so much about it? Let it run its course and maybe something will happen. You just have to wait and see.
I know you look for something different to change your usual schedule of life, but it’ll happen in time. You’re going to a new school next year, you’ll be in a different environment, all you have to do is survive the summer.
Feel free to open up to your best friend a little bit more. For the most part, your trust issues are gone and he hasn’t proven himself untrustworthy. Talk to him, you can tell him that you feel insecure. You can tell him everything because he’s been such a wonderful friend to you and there’s no reason to not tell him things when he asks.
There’s so much you’re missing out on because of all these things. Go out and enjoy the world, you only get one life. Go do something a little out of the ordinary and be the person you want to be with the people you want to be with. If people are making you unhappy, don’t be around them. You need to find the people you’re happiest with and hang out with them. If you’re not happy with the people you’re around, stop hanging out with them or tell them that they’re making you frustrated. You need to enjoy your life, not suffer through each day as they come.