• Two Years

    by  • July 24, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    It’s been two years. How could I believe that you would ever love me? Two years and you still haven’t said it. I tried saying it to you but you just ignored it like the words never came out of my mouth. I tried writing you a letter, pouring my heart out to you, revealing all of my insecurities and admitting that I love you. I only asked that you reply in some way. Still nothing. If you could even have just told me that you didn’t love me, just giving me an answer so I wouldn’t have to guess that would have been better than this. We’ve shared a bed every night and for the last two years I have pretty much ignored the fact that you have never proclaimed your feelings for me. It bothered me from time to time but I clung to the hope that maybe you just weren’t ready. I have finally come to the conclusion that if you aren’t ready at this point, you never will be. I am terrified. I have given you everything I have to give and I feel like I have finally reached a breaking point. You are hands down the most wonderful man I have ever met and I love you more than I can even adequately put into words. I feel like I am drowning in this sense of certainty that you will not stay will me. I say it like that because I know that I wouldn’t have the strength to leave you. I constantly wonder why it is you are still here if you don’t love me. I build up hope, creating excuses for you but I know I can’t do this anymore. You either do or you don’t, and when you come home, I will find out for better or worse.

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