• Singing for absolution I will be singing….

    by  • July 24, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 1 Comment

    I’m crying right now while I listen to my favorite band. You always hated them because I would listen to them all the time and you freaked out when I told you I had over 15,000 plays of just them alone. I’ve tried to explain to you why I love them so much.

    After my dad tried to suffocate my mom I was listening to Muse to try to calm me down because my dad was my best friend. I felt betrayed.

    When my Dad got drunk at parties and had to drive us all back home because he didn’t believe women should drive I listened to Muse to distract me.

    When I felt stressed because of school I listened to Muse because I felt alone since no one was able to help me with my projects and homework because we didn’t have the money to buy things I needed and no one understood physics, chemistry, precal, or history in my home.

    When my parents were fighting I would take my younger siblings to my room and I would play Muse loud enough so we wouldn’t hear them tear the house apart.

    When I couldn’t sleep I would stay up and listen to ALL of their songs.

    When my relatives died and I was asked to go to their funeral I listened to Muse so I wouldn’t hear people crying or screaming when their loved one’s body was carried down. My relatives always got mad at me for having my music player with me during the service but I couldn’t bear the agony in my relative’s cries and faces. I just couldn’t. I was 13 years old.

    When I first moved out of my home I cried because I didn’t want to leave my siblings in that home. I wanted to take them. All I could do was tell them that I was always there with them. I left my Muse albums with them and told them that if they felt lonely to just play them.

    I’m now 19, my siblings are now 17 and 11 and they know Muse means a lot to us. It hurts when you don’t let me play their music or my favorite song “Sing for Absolution” when I’m in the car with you or anywhere else. I’m sorry it’s just not working out. You keep telling me everyone has a shitty childhood but I don’t think you see what I went through. Yeah, they’re a band from the other side of the world but they were there for me. If you can’t respect my love of music and my siblings then I can’t respect you.

    It’s over.

    One Response to Singing for absolution I will be singing….

    1. C
      July 25, 2011 at 9:02 am

      Love Muse so much. There really is something about their music that just manages to get one through the crappy times.

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