• I’ll be braver for someone else

    by  • July 24, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Betrayal • 0 Comments

    It’s been over three years that I’ve had feelings for you. To this day I can’t even remember how we became friends, we just were without even trying. I watched you fall for girls, supporting you every time because I wanted you to be happy. I don’t know when you fell for me too, but I wish you hadn’t. I wish you’d let me continue to believe what a great guy you are, and that we now still had the potential to be close friends.

    HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT OF ME. How dare you kiss me on the cheek and squeeze my hand, and later ask me to sneak over to your place so we could hook up when you were still with her. You lied to me and said you didn’t talk to her anymore, that you were single. I’m so thankful I didn’t see you because I couldn’t sneak out of my house that night. Well, three days later your secret’s out. Three days of me imagining that you cared about me again, to find out through FACEBOOK of all things that you guys still talked.

    You had me fooled when you said you weren’t together anymore because she cheated on you at camp. Were you just using me to get even?

    I know I disappointed you last year when I told you we could only be friends, but it was only because you were still in high school and I was in my first year at college. I thought you deserved better than someone you had to miss all the time, that another girl had the potential to make you happy. I thought maybe we could work it out in the future when we were both ready. I regretted that decision thinking for 6 months i should have been braver and not let you go. Well, yesterday I thought I got lucky. I thought you were single and I was getting a second chance to be brave. Guess not.

    The thing that hurts me the most though is you thought that I was the kind of girl who would cheat with you. Your girlfriend (or whatever she is to you) and I are actually friends. Not great friends, but still friends. I hate that you thought I was the kind of person wou would hurt people to get what I want.

    There’s a small chance that you weren’t lying to me and what I saw on facebook was nothing. But I’m not going to hold my breath.

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