• Formality.

    by  • July 24, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    Jamey, or should I say Jameson now? Because we have to be formal. No emotions or looks or anything. Right? What was said was a lie. You and me? God no. Never in a million years. I mean you were apparently so convincing. Your jaw went slack as your eyes widened in disbelief. Why never, how could something like that happen? It’s ridiculous. Something like that would never happen, ever. I mean, you? Me? Hah, is that a joke?

    It’s not. Or it wasn’t. Remember? Laying in your bed. Me stroking your hand while you cuddled against me? Remember how our breathes became steady with eachother? And do you remember in the very beginning when I put your hand on my heart to have you feel how fast it was beating because I was so excited, nervous, and happy? And remember when you took my hand and put it against your heart so I could feel your heart racing too?

    Please, that’s absurd. We’re just friends, close friends, like family. Right? Right. Silly me, sorry to have embarrassed you.

    But know this right fucking now. You LOST me. You did the very moment you denied us. Sure, you may not care. Hell you may even be happy about it. Getting me off your back. But I’m hurt.

    I am so deeply hurt, I honestly don’t even know how to approach it. I can’t cry over it, I can’t talk about it, I can’t feel it. It’s just too much right now.

    And to think, I thought I was in love. And you told me that I was the only girl you could open up to, the only one that you could have a decent conversation with. Oh well. And by the way, I’m not the stupid little girl you knew when we were younger. No, I’m much different. But you won’t know. Because everything is formal now. Only see eachother at family events, weddings, funerals and just that. Nothing else.

    I just wish I didn’t know you denied that.

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