• If you know something… tell me… PLEASE!!

    by  • July 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Help • 2 Comments

    I made a promise years ago to someone very special to me. When you took me home that night, you made me promise you that I would leave him if he came between us. Although I am not the one that has to “leave” since I live alone, I do need to fully let go if there is no hope.

    If you know something that I need to know, no matter how you obtained said information….Please Tell Me.

    Unbeknownst to you yet, I am already letting go, but I need you to help me to turn my back and sever the ties for good and stop holding out for the hope that he can change. He is so cunning and always seems to have a way of pulling me back in. Give me a reason to turn my back and never look back. PLEASE.

    Although he has never hurt me and I know you could possibly kill him if he does, the person he becomes when he is on drugs is a person I detest. But I am not supposed to turn my back on that, I’m made to feel guilty because he is “in love” with me and he needs me to help him get over his addiction. But he is only “in love” with me when he is drug-free, because the drugs take away his emotions. I told him as such and it was the worst fight yet because he was still in denial about being on the drugs. This may be the end already, but please if you know something else I should know… help me to not fall prey to his charm when he is feeling emotions again and admits he was on drugs and needs my help. I can’t keep doing this…

    2 Responses to If you know something… tell me… PLEASE!!

    1. HanaLLJ
      July 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm

      Run a mile. Been there, done that, got the scars. It’s not safe for you to be in that environment you need to say 2 him quit the drugs or i am gone. If he really loves you he will. If not then your at emotional, mental and physical risk, because people are not human when they are on drugs. xoxox

    2. Angel
      July 29, 2011 at 10:10 pm

      Thanks 🙂 I pretty much told him today before I read your response, after fighting about this for days, that he couldn’t do this on his own and that he needed to get professional medical help. He made excuses for why he couldn’t get the help I thought he needed. He says if he enters a drug abuse facility that it will get him in trouble with his PO because he is suppose to be drug free. The only time he quits is for a few days before his PO visit and then he is right back to shooting up opiates again. It is never ending and I never know from one day to the next if he is going to be ‘high’ when I see him, and I get so frustrated. I told him today that I had to detach emotionally because it was killing me to see him live this way. And I have come to realize that I couldn’t fix him… he has to WANT to be fixed and if he couldn’t do it, then I couldn’t continue with our relationship. It is up to him now…

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