• By the time you read this…

    by  • July 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 1 Comment

    -I’m assuming most of this pain will have subsided.
    -I will probably have forgiven you, even though it was difficult and emotional.
    -You will have come back.
    -I will have tried, unsuccessfully, to move on.
    -I will still love you, regardless of my attempts to hate you.
    -I will have slept with my ex, because I debated getting back with him.
    -You will never know any of the above statement because I will not have told you anything.
    -I will have cried myself to sleep more times than you can make up for completely.
    -I will have lied to my friends about what really happened between us.
    -I still will not understand why you decided you needed to find yourself all of a sudden.
    -Sleep will be rare and infrequent.
    -I will still be supportive of the reasons you left, even if I don’t understand them.
    -You will still say you love me.
    -I will be unsure of where we stand.

    I know all this because it’s our story. It’s happened before, it’s going to happen again. Count me the fool, but I still think we can make it work. I tell myself it’s because of your military training, but it’s killing me inside. I hate waiting for you, but I always will. You bring out my best, and when you leave me out in the cold, I find my worst, and you won’t see any of it. You see me, being supportive, and I will continue to be confused and at a loss as to what I should do: move on, or stay here, because one is what I feel like you want me to do, and the other is what I know you want me to do. Push and pull, push and pull. Call me Bungee, not Panda.

    I’m lost in your signals.

    One Response to By the time you read this…

    1. K
      July 31, 2011 at 5:15 pm

      I can’t imagine any closer to the same situation!

    Leave a Reply