• By the time you read this…

    by  • July 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 1 Comment

    -I’m assuming most of this pain will have subsided.
    -I will probably have forgiven you, even though it was difficult and emotional.
    -You will have come back.
    -I will have tried, unsuccessfully, to move on.
    -I will still love you, regardless of my attempts to hate you.
    -I will have slept with my ex, because I debated getting back with him.
    -You will never know any of the above statement because I will not have told you anything.
    -I will have cried myself to sleep more times than you can make up for completely.
    -I will have lied to my friends about what really happened between us.
    -I still will not understand why you decided you needed to find yourself all of a sudden.
    -Sleep will be rare and infrequent.
    -I will still be supportive of the reasons you left, even if I don’t understand them.
    -You will still say you love me.
    -I will be unsure of where we stand.

    I know all this because it’s our story. It’s happened before, it’s going to happen again. Count me the fool, but I still think we can make it work. I tell myself it’s because of your military training, but it’s killing me inside. I hate waiting for you, but I always will. You bring out my best, and when you leave me out in the cold, I find my worst, and you won’t see any of it. You see me, being supportive, and I will continue to be confused and at a loss as to what I should do: move on, or stay here, because one is what I feel like you want me to do, and the other is what I know you want me to do. Push and pull, push and pull. Call me Bungee, not Panda.

    I’m lost in your signals.

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    One Response to By the time you read this…

    1. K
      July 31, 2011 at 5:15 pm

      I can’t imagine any closer to the same situation!



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