Over 7 years I have done so much for you because I loved you. Sacrificed friends, my parents trust, and my identity. I lost myself because I was too busy trying to make you happy. 7 years and 1 broken heart later;
I wish I never met you,
I wish I never watched fireworks with you at disneyland,
I wish I never lied to people about us,
I wish I never tolerated being your biggest secret,
I wish I walked away when you told me you actually never loved me,
I wish I never kept coming back to you when you needed me,
I wish I wasnt ok with being your booty call after we broke up,
I wish I we were safer about having sex,
I wish I didn’t listen when you told me that getting rid of the baby would show you how much I loved you,
I wish I never found out that you actually didn’t want it because you had another girl,
I wish you didn’t ask her to be yours 2 weeks after.
I wish I never cut myself for not feeling good enough,
I wish I didn’t feel so empty without you,
I wish I didn’t care,
I wish I didn’t count down the days until you came home
I wish I didn’t turn into the “other girl”
I wish I didn’t still love you.
I wish you didn’t make me smile so much,
I wish you didn’t know everything about me,
I wish you couldn’t read me like a book,
I wish you didn’t know the right words to get me.
I wish you weren’t so handsome,
I wish you weren’t so good at hugging me when I’m sad.
You’re my best friend and my worst enemy, my ex boyfriend and my lover, my childhood love to my high school fling, my comfort but my biggest fear, my superman but my kryptonite.
and even now, even after all that, I still love you. Cross my heart, pinky promise love you.