I can’t believe everyone talks about life like there’s so much to live. No. There’s not. I’ve been alive 19 years and it blows nuts. I mean seriously, this shit is retarded. I’m lonely. All the time. I’m different than everyone anywhere and it doesn’t seem that I share common ground with anyone so therefore nobody gets me. Now, that’s not exactly the problem but I’m getting there. the main bang is that I don’t get myself. I never have and I have no hope. I’ve been raised up just fine but that never stopped my insides from being continuously conflicted. I really hate it here. Honestly, if I liked myself it would be a bit better I imagine. Or maybe one day when I have a significant other and or children to live for. But right now? No. I don’t even believe in god anymore. I’ve got nothing here. However, in the end, I’m not going to take the easy way out. It would be simple for me, but it would kill my family and I really don’t want them to be fucked up too. I’ll never send this letter because I’ll never take my life away. I care too much about them. I’ll drag on.