There is no proper way to begin this. I’ve made many realizations lately. One is that my indecisive nature stems not from logic or reasoning, but from fear. Fear has been the culprit of what’s holding me back from so many things I used to love for years now, and the shear fact that I’m only currently owning up to that drives me absolutely mad. Mad, because of the length of time I’ve wasted in a sad, lazy, haze and mad because that’s so very unlike me.
When I openly dwell on my relationships or lack thereof, it’s not because I’m too picky or that I ‘haven’t found the right person’. I mean, maybe I haven’t but I wouldn’t let myself know one way or the other because for some unknown reason I am utterly terrified of getting what I want. A cliche, hypocrisy, and oxymoron all wrapped up in a stupid female.
Realistically though, I am the only one at fault. I am learning to take control of not only my emotions but my life in general. I may not know what events will be thrown at me be them positive or negative but I control how they are handled and how I grow because of them.
I’d still like to kiss you.