i’ve figured it out. i know why my stomach hurts. why i can’t eat, and haven’t slept for days. i know why my head hurts and i can’t even concentrate on anything. i know now why my face hurts from smiling, why i walk around feeling so excited all the time. why when i close my eyes i only see you.
it’s awful. it’s painful. it sucks. i hate myself for it.
but, i love you.
i love everything about you. i love your kind eyes. and your soft touch. i even love that you are the most awkward and strange person i have ever met. i love that your room is always messy and that you call me beautiful. i love your crazy messed up family, and even more that you can even stand mine. i love the feelings i get when you’re around, like nothing was right in the world until we were together and i didn’t realize it. i love that look on your face when i know you’re staring at me. i love that when something happens in my life, you’re the first person i want to tell. i love that you remember small details i even forgot i said.
fuck, i even love that i shouldn’t love you, but i do. so much, god, so much.