I’m sorry I went there, but it was all true. I do love you, and even now while I try to assure you I am not in love with you, I recognize the truth. I am completely in love with you. I hope you never understand the depth of this love, because I fear that if you did we could never be the way we were again.
I have to say, I was never quite satisfied with the way we were, but that does not mean I was discontent, just merely longed for a bit more. It’s okay, if we can’t reach it we can’t, you don’t need to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, you don’t need to do anything at all. I will still love you, you’re my best friend. If you cut me off though, trying to tell yourself you are protecting me from getting hurt, then I will not be okay with it. I will cry, and you will hurt me like everyone else always has.
I’m sorry that it had to come out like this, I’m sorry you don’t want to discuss things with me, I’m sorry you just have to think things over. But what I’m most sorry about is the way you label yourself, and the image you attempt to put off. I don’t know if it fools other people, but it doesn’t fool me, even if you believe you can fool yourself. You’re just as raw and hurt on the inside as the rest of us flawed humans. You fear me a little because I’m a woman, and women hurt you, and you cannot trust me completely, I can tell from the things you say about women generally. I’m sorry about that, you are the single reason I trust men, I wish I could be your reason for trusting women. I wish you didn’t think you were a bad person, because you’re not, you’re one of the better people out there. I wish you would see yourself the way I see you. I wish you would let me love you.