• I’m moving to Pensacola

    by  • July 21, 2011 • Confession • 0 Comments

    I don’t know why I’m still thinking about you like this.
    It’s been so long. You’re with Him. You even told me that you two were lovely right now. lovely, that’s the exact word you used. I just got back from Africa. I was thinking about you there. I guess falling in love with you just one more time. I thought maybe you’d be attracted to the whole spirituality thing I’ve got going on now. Nope. You’re with Him. Still. Fuck.

    You. I’m just sitting here still wondering and I don’t know why.
    I don’t know why I’m not moving on. I tried, am trying currently, but to no avail. People tell me it’s healthiest if I could just move on. Can’t. Tried. Can’t.

    Do you think about me? Do you miss it all? We should’ve never been what we were. I was just a rebound for a few days and it fucked everything up. Why can’t I just have you back? It’s plenty obvious that things will never be the same.

    Do you feel this emptiness in your chest when you wake up in the morning and don’t see me? I may never know what it’s like to wrap you in my arms again, to intertwine your hand with mine, comb my fingers through your hair, wipe your tears, or stare into your deep green eyes.
    Nah, you probably don’t feel it.

    I still want you to be happy.
    I’m glad that you are.
    Most of me just hates that it’s with someone other than myself.

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