I miss you every second of every day. I regret being that typical teenage girl. I regret being rude to you and treating you like shit. I wish I shared all my secrets with you. I miss those days we drove in my car and I sang and danced to you while I drove. I miss making you laugh. I miss you bringing my food to my room. I miss you “resting your eyes” while we watched tv. I’ll never forget that one time when I was 12 and terrified of a horror movie and you slept in my bed with me to make sure I was okay. I wish you could see the woman I have become.
I’m 21 now and about to be a senior at Syracuse University. I went to that school because you visited it with me. It was the last real thing we did together, a month later you died. Why did that have to happen? You never saw me turn 18, you never saw me graduate. You weren’t there to wipe away the tears when I came home from college stressed out there. You weren’t there to wipe away the tears when I realized that real people are hard to find and relationships are even harder to hold on to. I want to make something of myself, I want to know you would be proud of me. I will never be okay without you around. There is a hole in my heart that will never go away.
You may not have been perfect but you will always be the best mom in the world.
I love and miss you so much,
Your little fashion expert.