• A funeral stands between us

    by  • July 21, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Parents, Those Gone Before Us • 3 Comments

    Mom,

    I miss you every second of every day. I regret being that typical teenage girl. I regret being rude to you and treating you like shit. I wish I shared all my secrets with you. I miss those days we drove in my car and I sang and danced to you while I drove. I miss making you laugh. I miss you bringing my food to my room. I miss you “resting your eyes” while we watched tv. I’ll never forget that one time when I was 12 and terrified of a horror movie and you slept in my bed with me to make sure I was okay. I wish you could see the woman I have become.

    I’m 21 now and about to be a senior at Syracuse University. I went to that school because you visited it with me. It was the last real thing we did together, a month later you died. Why did that have to happen? You never saw me turn 18, you never saw me graduate. You weren’t there to wipe away the tears when I came home from college stressed out there. You weren’t there to wipe away the tears when I realized that real people are hard to find and relationships are even harder to hold on to. I want to make something of myself, I want to know you would be proud of me. I will never be okay without you around. There is a hole in my heart that will never go away.

    You may not have been perfect but you will always be the best mom in the world.

    I love and miss you so much,
    Your little fashion expert.

    3 Responses to A funeral stands between us

    1. Karen
      July 21, 2011 at 10:34 am

      What a beautiful letter to your Mom. I’m absolutely sure that she knew how much you loved her. I’m sorry that you have to be without her but I’m sure she is watching you and sharing your joys and sorrows every day. Its great that you have learned so much at such a young age and that you are so mature. Good luck in whatever you decide to do!!

    2. Cindy
      July 21, 2011 at 11:49 am

      aw, thank you Karen!

    3. S
      July 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      Honey, of course she is proud of you, and will be no matter what you do. Most of all, she wants you to be happy and have a great life. Your happiness is her happiness. (That is what mothers are all about.)

      P.S., she was once a teenage shit, too. I’m sure she understands.

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