Yes, you know you are dear to me. You must know, after 6 years of knowing each other and nearly four years of friendship.
But what you might not know is you’re the first man I ever loved. At this point I can see you looking at me, half-confused but somehow all-knowing, as always. “How can a 16-year-old really fall in LOVE?”
How can anyone fall in love, is what I ask you? I fell in love with you and remain madly in love with you–after all, love is sacrificing for someone’s happiness, doing anything for them, wishing to be with them and nearly dying of exquisite happiness when you are, right?
I wish I could tell you how much I love you…and talk with you about how highly amusing it can be to be truly in love with TWO men at the same time, probably for the rest of my life. I can’t be with you, but something tells me we’re perfect the way we are.
I see the way you look at me, from the time I was 16 to now, and maybe for the rest of our lives. Your beautiful, blue eyes search mine for something undefined, something never fully spoken between us.
You fulfill a part of me that no one else can–the part that yearns for poetry. I want you to know that I will love you for as long as I live. That’s really it. I want you to know how beautiful and generous you are and how much I appreciate everything you do for me and all the small, quiet moments we share together.
There may be 20 years between us, but I feel so connected to you and I daresay you feel the same way. Otherwise you wouldn’t say there are “…too many extenuating circumstances” when women show interest in you.
Please be happy…but please, please never leave me again. I love you.