In a way, I will always love you. In a distant, terrifying, and lonely way my heart will always skip for you. I will continue to live an increasingly filling life as I lie closer to death, as my heart keeps skipping through your smile. In a way, in a cold and foreign way- your call will always wake me. Your touch will keep me thinking- in a way. in this way, I’ll be yours. But in every other way, I’ll be alone. You will be an experience, a memory, a stigma- until we meet again- in a way, in whichever way we meet. Under covers, under roofs, or under stars. And then I’ll leave. I’ll drink a green tea frappacino, i’ll watch the rain cover my world, I’ll smoke a cigarette and laugh really loudly. I’ll go to rehearsal and be raptured by my work. I’ll call my best friend, I’ll get really drunk, I’ll take long naps, and dance in my underwear. And then you’ll call. And in a way, it will be like I’m hearing from you for the first time. My heart will skip again and I’ll know I love you. But I will have to go. And in a way, I’ll linger as I hang up the phone, and brush my teeth, and go on a weird date with a weird guy. As I become the person I am meant to be, your scattered energy will paint a bittersweet smile across my face. And in a way- in a cold and distant and liberating way, I’ll love it. As I love you. As I always will.