I miss everything about you.
something reminded me of the way your skin smells.
out of nowhere, at the most inconvenient time. it was so ridiculously random and stupid. but as i told myself i hated it, i inhaled as deep as i could and it made me smile. you were there, with me, next to me. i could feel you on my finger tips, i could taste you on my lips. it felt good to feel you that close again. it warmed me inside to hear your heartbeat, it made me think of the very first time i ever heard it beat, so erratically, so loud, so soothing. i have these moments quite often, they stop me in my tracks. they make me forget to breathe and make me cry. they make me remember why i loved you so much, and why i (still) love you. i miss you more than i have ever missed anything in my entire life. and i miss your son even more than that. it’s been three months since i last saw your face, i’m not the same. i walked away, but i can’t lie, i want more. i’m not right, i’m sick in the head, just like you. it’s sick, but i even miss your violence. you were perfect, even when you hit me. flawless in my eyes, even after you put my head through the wall. you were everything i ever wanted even after you put bruises all over my body. we’ve tried goodbye many times and i have a really hard time believing this will be the last one. you’re like a drug to me, i’m beyond addicted and i want more. i crave you, i want you. every part of you. you don’t know, no one knows, that my heart (still) beats for you. it is inconceivable that we should ever part, i want to get back to you. my world isn’t the same without you in it. i love you with everything i am, i’m not ready to let go.