You contacted me yet again–and shit it hurts. I try to act that it doesn’t bother me but dammit, it does. I miss the hell out of you–everyday. Everyday since I left you. I know I left for good reasons but it doesn’t make it any easier. I will never forget you begging me to take it back, that you would change. And when I didn’t budge, when I bit the bullet and left you–you got mean. Really, really mean. I miss you like hell. I know every action was out of pain but it sucks because now–those scars you created are way too deep. I want you back though, that love sick child in me yearns to be held by you again and you to listen, hold my hand, joke with me, and be close. I can’t have any of that now and maybe that is what I learned last night. I can’t have you even though I want you. I guess I have to suffocate that love sick child because my future and my childrens future depend on it. You won’t go back to school and you won’t quit the drugs. Yet another “man” that chooses drugs over love. A plant can only love you back for so long..the smoke can only fill that hole for so long–I could have filled you forever. So I’m letting you go. It hurts so bad words can’t describe. The love of my life, my future, the life I built around you–and you want your drugs and pride more. So have it boy, take it and run with it as far as you can go. I want you to have what you want in life because you can’t have both.
Me? What am I going to do now? Prove to you that I will always be better than that drug and I’m off to meet my goals and fufill the woman I can be. So watch me I guess, watch me from your stingy apartment turn into the woman that you, you can just never have back.