To my boyfriend,
I knew it would be hard for me to travel to New Zealand for 21 days. I knew it would be hard to find times to send messages where we’re on at the same time with the five hour time difference. I knew that this would be a test run for this fall when I go to college 45 minutes away and you’ll be a senior in college. I knew so many things but I thought we’d still keep in contact. I can’t take this hot-cold treatment you keep giving me. I can’t stand the no contact one day and then nothing but the next. It is driving me crazy babe. I don’t know if I can take it or if I can pretend that it’s alright. I’m so confused about it and I wish I could talk to you about it but I can’t. When I try to talk to you about things that are serious to me you seem so callous about them and like they’re no big deal to you. But they are. To me.
I just wish you would tell me why you can’t get to a computer. If you did that would be so much better. Just an ‘I’m going here today so I won’t be able to get on the computer’ would make me feel better. I wouldn’t be trying to get on the computer every hour or so to see if you’ve gotten back on yet.
I’m not trying to be controlling. I just want to be able to talk to you during the day. The five hour difference really doesn’t help because when it’s about 11 at night there and you’re tired its only 6 at night here. And in the mornings when its noon it’s still only 7 here. I’m not going to wake up at 6 or 7 in the morning.
I really miss you babe but really just tell me what the fuck is going on.