• What I’ve Been Holding Inside

    by  • July 18, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 1 Comment

    I do not say what you want to hear everytime, I say what is in my mind. I do not always do what exactly what you want me to, but I do it my way. I do not always do what I want to do but do it your way and never tell you. I want to see you all the time and it hurts when you don’t want to see me or choose other things over me, but I never tell you. I do not act the same way you do because that isn’t how I do things, and I never tell you how much it hurts when you get mad at me because of that. I never tell you how you don’t sound genuine when you say you love me or that I’m beautiful anymore. I never tell anyone these things because they act like they never want to hear. I try to talk and I can see your eyes glaze over, you look away or look for some way to get away. I can see that, but I never tell you how much it hurts. I never tell you to shut up when you talk about your problems. I cry alone at night, but no one knows that. No one cares. I’ve been holding all that in because I can’t say it to you. You may think that this is dedicated to a boyfriend, but it goes to all of my friends as well. No one I know cares and they don’t know how I feel. That’s what I’ve been holding inside.

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    One Response to What I’ve Been Holding Inside

    1. Taylor
      July 18, 2011 at 11:50 pm

      I care. You’re not alone. I know what it’s like to not feel accepted as the person you are and to try to be the person someone wants you to be. I know what it’s like to have someone ignore or chose something else over you. I know what it’s like to be afraid to share your feelings with someone. I know what it’s like to have people not pay attention to you when you’re just trying to talk to them or when you’re honestly pouring your heart out to them. Everything you said, I’ve felt that too and I’m sure many people have. I feel your hurt. I know what it’s like to cry about these things – I’ve been there. But listen to me…

      Do not let people keep you from being you. Say what’s on your mind and be proud. Do things your way and be even prouder. The world is full of people who are afraid to be themselves, don’t be one of them.

      I know it’s hard. Believe me, I know it’s hard. But you are you, no one else can say that. You are the glorious, wonderful, irreplaceable you. And if certain people can’t see value in that, that’s their loss. Listen to me when I say that people do appreciate you for you. Maybe they’ve never told you, maybe you’re still to meet them, but people do. You offer something unique and valuable to this world, don’t cheat the world from that. Love you for who you are.

      I know I will never meet you or have the chance to be there for you when you cry. I’m sorry. But from one human being to another, I love you for you. Understand that. Be proud of who you are – and who you are doesn’t have to be definable, you know what it is. Never give up on you. I care.



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