• I’m Sorry

    by  • July 18, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 0 Comments

    Over a decade of friendships between us all and I never see or hear from you.
    All of us were together all the time. We were best friends. I thought we’d all be there for each other always.

    What changed? Was it the fact that I met someone outside our group and fell in love? Was it because I became pregnant and was no longer available as a drinking buddy or able to stay up all night drinking coffee and talking? Was it because I moved away and settled down to start a family. Yes, we married in a justice of the peace wedding. But, I asked you all to be in my wedding party when we had a “real one”. Yet, no one even called or came by to congratulate us or say goodbye.

    Time and time again, I called to make plans. Drove hours to be there for you for special occasions, away from my new family. Cried each time I had to leave because I miss you all so much. What happened?

    You of all, broke my heart the most. Wanting me there for your most special day to ask your new girlfriend to marry you. What happened? You stopped all communications with me the following day because she doesn’t like me. I have cried more over this than when my own husband was deployed for a year overseas.

    Every day, I hear about how you are all getting married, or starting a new career, or all getting together for reunions. I guess I missed those calls or invites. I moved farther away again and not one of you came to say goodbye. At one point in life, you have all told me that you wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for me. That you loved me and that we would all have each others’ backs until the end of time. Somehow, I have been pushed away and forgotten.

    My heart breaks every time I see pictures and remember our past. Should I give up and leave you all from my life too? I cry when I realize that I have been forgotten. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. Maybe one day we will be part of each others’ lives again. I know you have each other, and I’m grateful that you still have that.

    I wish I knew what went wrong. You were supposed to be my ‘man of honour’ and I’d be your ‘best woman’. Now, you’re getting married and the wedding party has been announced. I didn’t even get a phone call saying she said yes. I don’t expect an invitation.

    I miss the three of you so much. I wish two of you the best in both of your weddings this year. And, to the third, just ask her already! It’s been 10 years.

    I wish I cold tell you all in person how much I love you and miss you. There was a day not long ago, that we’d be all telling each other that we loved each other and never entered our minds that we’d have to even say “miss you.”

    I love you so much. Even with all of the pain and hurt and anger I feel, I still only want the best for you three. I want you to experience the love I feel every day with my husband. I want you to experience that pure love and joy when you hold your first child in your arms. I want all of your dreams and hopes to come true. I want the world for you three. You mean so much to me still and always will. I love you K, J, and G!

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