• I love you, dear spaceman

    by  • July 18, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    I need you to know how much I truly love you. I know your ex really fucked you up but I need you to know that even though she betrayed your trust in multiple ways (with multiple blokes, at that), I am nothing like her. I know you don’t think we’re alike, but the way you jump to conclusions when you think I’m cheating on you hurts me more than I can bear. One night when we had another of these little arguments, you said you didn’t know if you could date me anymore and I felt as though a knife was slicing through my heart. I wanted to run from the room, scream at the top of my lungs, do anything but just sit there. I was speechless, thoughts were running through my head so fast, I couldn’t distinguish one from the other. All I knew was that you were completely wrong and though I tried telling you this repeatedly, you wouldn’t believe me and the thought of losing you made the idea of death seem almost tempting. You told me to quit with the crying, that it wasn’t going to sway you. I know you weren’t trying to be a jackass, but the sad fact of the matter is, you were. I’d never seen you act this way and, though I understood where you were coming from, I needed you to trust me. And you did, it was just the other guys you didn’t trust. It was killing me, not knowing how I could prove to you that you were just being paranoid, that when I said I love you, I meant it, that I wasn’t screwing around on you behind your back. I know the way we got together was a bit unexpected, but I don’t regret a single moment. Something drew me to you, as though my inner conscious could sense something amazing within you. I knew from the moment I saw you that I had to get closer to you. My brain was aching for intellectual excitement, especially since my boyfriend at the time was so dull, and you awakened this whole new thought process inside my head. I let it fill me up and now my interests reside in aliens, the universe, space, time, etc. I love your wisdom for though you have lived such a short life, you have already experienced so much, your blue depths showing a dark past that no one should have to endure. And though you have seen great misery, you are able to find a way through it because that’s just the way you are. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, though, you don’t give yourself enough credit as it is. You are by far the most wonderful, sincere, fascinating, lovely, handsome, brilliant man I have ever met in my short time on this earth. As you know, I think everything happens for a reason and I think we were meant to meet. Though I know you love me, you have warned me of the pitfalls of a long term relationship, of what happens after awhile of a couple being together; they grow bored, hate each other, etc and though I normally hold a pessimistic outlook, something tells me this won’t end in a tragedy. You are the closest I get to being close, you are the light to my everything. Your stardust thoughts envelope me in fascination and your smile sends me in waves of euphoria as well as shock that I was able to obtain such a wonderful person to stay by my side. You have made me less of a pessimist and for that, I thank you. I thank you for all you have brought to my life, for being there for me when times got really tough. You’ve been the light in some of my darkest moments and just the thought of your smile pushes the shadows away. I thank you for all the wack-o theories you engage me in that usually end up being right, such as 9/11, Obama-nation, Project Blue Beam, HAARP, etc. Maybe we are crazy, but it seems to me that in any good movie, the two crazy people always end up falling in love and staying together. Maybe crazies are meant to be with other crazies and that’s why I feel so comfortable and at home when I’m with you. Though I’ve been ‘in love’ before, it was nothing like this. When my exes were in emotional pain, I could give a rat’s ass, but whenever you hurt or talk about how you find it all pointless, it makes my heart hurt and all I want to do is kiss the pain away. I can feel your pain coursing through my veins and I just want to do all I can to stop it. I’ll always be here, babycakes. I promise. Though I know time changes things, it won’t change this. It won’t change my heart. My love for you is as unending as the universe.

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