We broke up a few months ago, but we’ve never stopped talking, or really acted like we were broken up. We still speak every day, more than once.
On the weekend you told me you slept with someone. I cheated on you almost a year ago. I kissed someone else. And I did everything to make it better, but almost a year later it’s still not enough. I can live with that because we’re okay, and we tried. But you made me feel SO guilty- not for cheating, that was understandable- but for being someone who might be able to sleep with others outside a relationship. Or hook up. You guilt tripped me and you made me hate and doubt myself and feel so terrible and dirty.
I’m so glad you helped me realise how important my body is, and how sharing yourself with people should never mean nothing, how you can’t let people use you or just have your body. And now I can’t even look at someone, and you’re out fucking other girls. I was so proud of you for standing up for what you believed in, for being yourself, and I agree with you. I changed for you, with you, and now you’re doing the very thing YOU made me despise.
So now I’m sitting here feeling so hurt for what you’re doing, and I can’t do it. I can’t even feel better, or not feel at all and just be with someone. I can’t be myself. You did that, and now you’re a fucking hypocrite. You’re a hypocrite, and you’re doing what YOU hated.
Or did you? Do I even know you at all anymore?
This was your number one thing, and suddenly it’s not important. Or does it just work so it’s always your way? When you’re in a relationship it’s all about respect and love and treating your body right, and when you’re single sex is nothing? Love is nothing? I hate this all the more because I don’t know which is worse, and I don’t know what to believe of you anymore.
You’re fucking with me and I need you out of my life.